I know exactly what we should do to
practice proper “distance hygiene”, to make sure the Coronavirus
doesn't keep spreading.
The only problem is...not everyone can
do it.
Authorities around the world are
telling people to do three things to try & slow the spread of the
virus. You're being warned to not touch your face, and to constantly
wash your hands. The third this is the practice of “distance
hygiene”, in which you're not supposed to do things like shake
hands, kiss strangers (if you're in Europe) or even high-five (if
you're in the NBA). Basically, you're not supposed to touch people
you don't know.
So how, then, do we greet people?
Simple. The Vulcan hand salute.
Yes, I know I'm a dork, but hear me
out. If we were all to adopt the Vulcan hand salute instead of
shaking hands, kissing, or high-fiving, wouldn't that eliminate a
possible way in which the Coronavirus (as well as cold & flu
germs) could be transmitted?
Sound logical to me, as inhabitants of
that planet would say, if a little, uhm, nerdy, as inhabitants of
THIS planet would say.
Now, admittedly, there is a small
problem or two with the idea. The first came up when I mentioned the
idea to Loraine, who said it won’t work because she, like many
people, can’t do the salute. And that, both surprised me and
didn’t surprise me, in that I can do the salute easily, so I
thought everyone can, and in that, unlike me, I’m sure no one else devoted hours of their childhood in an attempt to actually perfect
the salute.
(Now, for those of you who DON’T know
what the salute is, it’s holding your right hand up, with a gap
between your middle and ring fingers. Your index and middle fingers
are together, while ring and small fingers are together, as well.
Click HERE to see what
I’m talking about.)
And Loraine's not the only one. If you
listen to the director’s commentary on the 2009 theatrical reboot
of “Star Trek” JJ Abrams (the director) has a fine time going on
about how Zachary Quinto, the actor who plays Spock, is one of the
many people who can’t do the Vulcan salute. In fact, there Quinto
was, playing the most famous Vulcan of all time, and they had to glue
his fingers together in the one scene where he had to give the salute
(to, ironically, Leonard Nimoy, also playing the most famous Vulcan
of all time, and the guy who came up with the salute in the first
place).
So if Loraine can’t do the Vulcan
salute and Zachary Quinto can’t do the Vulcan salute and a large
majority of the people in this country can’t do the Vulcan salute,
I’m guessing that it’ll never replace the handshake as a form of
greeting between people, no matter how germ-free it is.
But still, it does have its good
points. Unlike handshakes, kisses, or high-fives, there is
absolutely no skin to skin contact, and no way that viruses can be
passed from person to person. And one could then logically infer
that disease transmission, whether the Coronavirus or cold or flu,
could be cut down drastically. And all it would take is for the
entire planet to nerd up.
The entire planet would be willing to
do that, right?
8-)
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