Tuesday, December 12, 2023

Tuesday, 12/12

It was one episode of one TV show over 30 years ago. Why is it still warping me?

Yesterday I mentioned I did a LOT of things during my three day weekend. One of them was heading out to Kohl's to choose something for one of my birthday presents. I succeeded; in fact, if you saw me on TV last night you saw what I picked up. But that's neither here nor there. When I was in Kohl's and they were playing holiday music over the loudspeaker, I realized that a single episode of “Married with Children” still has an unexplained hold over me.

And here's how.

On the show's first Christmas episode, the plot dealt with Santa parachuting into a mall to visit all the good little girls and boys. Of course, things went awry, and Santa ended up dead in the Bundy's back yard. But that's not what warped me. After all, I have a sick sense of humor to begin with. Nope; what warped me was the continuous use of a song line throughout the episode, sung to the tune of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”.

Namely, before Santa showed up, all the characters on the song would sing “Santa Claus is coming...to the Lakeside Mall”, which was where he was supposed to land. Ever since then, in the 3+ decades since I first saw the show, every time I hear “Santa Claus is Coming To Town”, like I did at Kohl's Saturday, I instead start singing to myself “Santa Claus is Coming to the Lakeside Mall”.

Who knew?

I highly doubt the people who put together that particular episode of “Married” thought the lasting legacy of that show would be some dork remembering the words to a fake commercial jingle. I'm sure they hoped that, if the episode were to be remembered at all, it would be for Santa dying in a skydiving accident. But it was not to be. And while I (literally) haven't thought of anything else dealing with “Married With Children' for decades now, every single holiday season “Santa Claus is coming to the Lakeside Mall” pops into my head.

Yes, I need help. What's your point?

8-)

(jim@wmqt.com)

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