Friday, 2/13 (!)

Since I'm not working Monday, President's Day, I figured I'd write about the topic today, if for no other reason than to remind you that you may keep staring out the window and eventually asking yourself, “How come the mail hasn’t shown up yet”?

You know--one of those days!

Instead of spending the day Monday pondering the achievements (or lack thereof) from everyone from Millard Fillmore to Gerald Ford, most people will simply shrug and wonder, if you were to ask them, just who the heck Millard Fillmore and Gerald Ford were. And that’s kind of sad. I mean, I know I’m a history geek, and knew who all the Presidents in this country’s history were at a young age, but I’d like to think that names like James K. Polk, James Buchanan, and Rutherford B. Hayes should at least spark a tiny flame of memory in most people. I mean, I know they don’t, but I’d like to dream that they would.

And as long as I’m dreaming, can we have beach weather this weekend, too?

I know you guys are among the smartest people in the world, so here are two tests for you. First of all, before the current one, who was the only U.S. President to be elected to non-consecutive terms? In other words, he was President, then he wasn’t, then he was elected again? The answer to that comes at the end of this.

Secondly, going backwards from our current President, how many in a row can you name until you stump yourself? Go ahead, give it a try. I’ll wait for you.

(By the way, this is just me, waiting until you stump yourself).

(Stump yourself yet? Good. Keep going).

(Now are you stumped?)

From a statistic I saw, the average person can only go back FIVE Presidents before failing. FIVE. That means that they have no idea who was President before Bill Clinton. I mean, they may know the names of Nixon and Kennedy and at least one of the Roosevelts, but they don’t know where they fall in that order. And that’s kind of a shame. I don’t expect everyone to be able to name all 46 Presidents in reverse order--heck, even I can’t do that--but it is kind of nice to know who falls where and what effect that had on the growth and the history of this country.

And for the record--I can go back 20 Presidents. I always forget who came before William McKinley. I know; dorky, right?

So have yourself a great President’s Day Monday. If you wanna impress the people around you, slip into conversation how interesting you believe it to be that Grover Cleveland was the first President to be elected to non-consecutive terms. And if you REALLY wanna impress the people around you, add to the conversation the fact that during his second non-consecutive term Cleveland asked Peter White to head what would now be the Bureau of Indian Affairs, but that White turned him down because he was too busy being, well, Peter White.

President’s Day. More than just another day you don’t get mail.

Have a great weekend!

(jim@wmqt.com)

Thursday, 2/12

I wonder if Bob Seger ever considered this?

When I was out running yesterday morning Bob Seger's “Hollywood Nights” popped up on my iPod. If you're not familiar with the song, it's about a Midwestern boy who heads out to California and falls in love with a girl, a girl who dumps him by the end of the song. The girl, as described by Seger, is one of those stereotypical California girls who, as the lyrics put it, had been born with “a face that would let her get away” with just about anything.

But that's not what sent my brain into overtime. Nope; this is what sent my brain into overtime. The song is 48 years old. The album from which it came, “Stranger in Town”, was released in 1978. So, for a second, assume what took place in the song really happened. Assume that the girl born with “a face that would let her get away” was (for the sake of argument) 22 when the song happened. That would mean that the girl born with “a face that would let her get away”, the girl that broke the protagonist's heart, would now be 70 years old.

The girl born with “a face that would let her get away” would now, in all likelihood, be a grandmother. And the guy whose heart she broke? There would probably be kids calling him “grandpa”.

That's what sent my brain into overdrive.

No, I don't know why I thought of that. I mean, I knew in the back of my head that the song was almost 50 years old. I haven't heard it in a while, which probably led me to listen to the lyrics a little closer than I normally would've. And for some strange reason, stuff just started to add up until I realized that the two characters in the song are now eligible for Social Security and enjoying senior discounts at their favorite restaurant.

Where they probably eat dinner at 3 in the afternoon.

Like I said, this is just something that popped into my head while running. Hopefully, weird stuff like that won't send your brain into overdrive throughout the day

8-)

(jim@wmqt.com)

Wednesday, 2/11

What? You don't use the phrase “face pants” in your everyday life?

As we all know, my life is weird, and it keeps getting weirder by the day. I mean, I could mention things like walking into a store Sunday, saying something, and having the young man waiting on me say “You're the dude from the history videos!”. I could also mention the e-mail I received yesterday from someone who saw me on TV Monday and really REALLY wants to make “Six Pack Speed Skating” a thing.

Or, I could just show you my face pants--

Yup; you're looking at exactly what you think you're looking at. A couple of weeks ago the Painesdale High School Bowl team decided to show up for a shoot wearing pajama bottoms with my face on them.

Have I ever mentioned my life is weird?

When I saw the “face pants” I almost lost it, laughing so hard that we had to delay taping a few minutes while I composed myself. I mean, strange things have been happening to me on a regular basis, but I really don't think I had “face pants” on my Weird Life Bingo Card.

I don't think ANYONE would have “face pants” on their Weird Life Bingo Card.

In the two weeks since, my friend Deanna has been using the phrase “face pants” as often as possible in conversation, attributing everything going on in the world—good & bad—to my “face pants”. Even I've found myself using the phrase once or twice, only to then have to explain the whole thing to the person who just heard it. Of course, once they hear WHY I'm using the phrase “face pants” they get it, and, if only for a second, realize that my life is weird.

Because, if you weren't aware, my life is weird.

So the next time something strange happens to you—and I'm assuming that I'm not the only person to whom weird things happen—don't give it a second thought. Just realize that there are forces greater than you & I at work in the universe. Whatever happens, we can just blame it on one thing and one thing only.

Face pants.

(jim@wmqt.com)

Tuesday, 2/10

Well, one of them COULD be a real sport, right?

Last night's TV piece was my latest flight of Yooper fancy, in which I (hopefully) accomplished two goals—making people chuckle a little, and ragging on a certain news anchor for not yet eating a pasty.

The second of those is, actually, quite easy. The first one's a little harder, and with any luck I at least came close.

I haven't really watched any of the Olympics yet, although I did see a clip of Lindsey Vonn's horrific crash, an experience that I really don't wanna repeat. But I know how many people really get into the Games, especially with a Yooper like Nick Baumgartner trying to get another gold, so I figured I would put my own unique spin on a couple of events that SHOULD be in the Winter Olympics but aren't.

Much, I'm sure, to the loss of the rest of the world.

Did I succeed? Well, that's not up to me to decide. It IS, however, something you can determine by checking it out for yourself--

This is one of those bits that just came to me in a flash of inspiration, as when I was walking home from TV last Monday night the phrase “Six Pack Speed Skating” popped into my head. By the time I finished dinner, I had most of the gags; the spot itself was fully written by Wednesday, and when I came back to it Sunday to put graphics together it still held up.

I wish all of my TV bits were that easy, you know?

Anyway, I suppose I should wrap this up. If nothing else, I should start drafting a letter to the International Olympic Committee. I'm pretty sure they'll be as excited by “Six Pack Speed Skating” as the rest of us, right?

8-)

(jim@wmqt.com)

Monday, 2/6

Who knew I was so hardcore, huh?

First of all, hope you had a great weekend. I enjoyed mine, as for the first weekend in a lot of weekends I didn't have much to do. I talked to my dad (the birthday boy; more on that in a bit), I took care of some chores, and Loraine and I headed over to the Fit Strip for a little outdoor winter exercise.

Look what I came back with--

It's not what it looks like. I mean, yes, it IS a cross country ski pole that's obviously broken in half, and if I wanted to leave you with the impression that I had a massive accident while head through the woods, I could use that as evidence, right? But, alas, I'm not that hardcore. I mean, I DID break the pole while skiing, but it wasn't while being hardcore.

It was while I was trying to move a tree out of my way.

As you know, we've had an intense winter up here, so intense that all around Marquette's Fit Strip there are trees & branches that have been blown down, and frozen in place. I came across one while heading around the woods on Sunday, and figured I would be a good community citizen and try to move it. I'm sure someone smarter than me would have figured this out, but it's REALLY hard to move a frozen tree while on cross country skis. So I tried using one of my poles are leverage, and voila...

I ended my skiing with one working pole. Oops.

I did eventually get the giant tree branch out of my path, and used my one working pole to get back to civilization. I'm guessing I won't be doing too much skiing until I get the pole replaced, although I do have an old pole from an old set somewhere on our basement. Maybe I'll try using the one I still have with the old one, and see how it works.

Although if I come across more tree branches on the ground, I'll know better than to use one of those poles to move it.

8-)

*****

I had mentioned that it was Chicky-Poo's birthday on Saturday. What he doesn't know is that the kids on “High School Bowl” wanted to say something to him!

(jim@wmqt.com)

Friday, 2/6

Well, you'll be happy to know I made it through a “normal” week okay.

At the beginning of this week I mentioned how this was my first “normal” week in, like, forever. I wondered how I would handle it, and you know what?

I think I handled it quite well. I got everything done I wanted to get done; I even got a head start on next week's TV piece. So I made the most of a “normal” week. And that's a good thing, because next week?

Anything BUT normal.

But before we even think about that, I have something I need to announce. I could not let this day go by without wishing a “happy birthday” tomorrow to my favorite old guy in the whole world. That's right; tomorrow it's Chicky-Poo's birthday.

When I mailed my dad's birthday card a couple of days ago and actually addressed it to “Chicky-Poo Koski”, someone asked how I had gotten into the habit of referring to him as “Chicky-Poo” instead of something normal like “Dad” or “Father” or “Sir” or “You know, that guy”. And in all honesty, I have no idea whatsoever. I don't even know when it started. I just know that one day, probably as a joke, I must have called him “Chicky-Poo” and, for some strange reason, it got stuck in my brain. I started referring to him in that manner. Not all the time, and certainly not when I'm actually having a conversation with him, but I address his mail to him that way, I refer to him that way when he wants me to tell Loraine something, and when talking to my Mom on the phone, I'll ask her to tell “Chicky-Poo” I said 'Hi”.

I know; great son, right?

Anyway it's Chicky-Poo's (excuse me, my dad's) birthday tomorrow, and I couldn't let the day go by without making sure that everyone else knew it was his big day, too. Since he's in Florida, I'm guessing he'll either be playing pickleball or going for a long bike ride (or both). So have a great day tomorrow, DAD. Enjoy the weather, and enjoy all the attention for a few hours!

Love,

(jim@wmqt.com)

Thursday, 2/5

You know what? I'm thinking it might be a pretty accurate description.

Over the past few months, as you well know, I've been putting out all kinds of content—these things every day, my TV-19 work every week, 12 “Pieces of the Past” videos, and a whole bunch more. I was speaking with someone who's seen most of it, and whether or not they intended to, they gave me a compliment that, as I think about it, describes what I seem to be these days.

They told me I'm a great “Two Minute Storyteller”.

It's a strange sobriquet, but you know what? It fits perfectly. The TV pieces I do every week? 2 minutes. These things, if you were to read them out loud? About 2 minutes. The history videos? Some are 90 seconds, some are a bit longer, so that averages to (around) two(ish) minutes.

I've never actually even considered it, but I do seem to have a talent for getting a point across in two minutes. I guess I really AM a “Two Minute Storyteller”.

It's funny, because I'm guessing that if you were to go back in time (which, as we know from yesterday, is pretty much impossible) and ask the younger me what title they would end up with, I can pretty much guarantee the younger me would NOT have guessed “Two Minute Storyteller”. In fact, I'm pretty sure the younger me would either laugh the laugh of the ironic at that suggestion, or just shake his head, make a sarcastic comment, and walk away.

But you know what? The younger me would have been quite shortsighted in that reaction.

I'd be curious to know if I've always, deep down, been a “Two Minute Storyteller”, or if it's a talent I've developed over the years, thanks to the type of work I've done (like writing these for 20+ years). Maybe it's a chicken or egg thing, or maybe there's just something in my brain that suited to short spurts of lucidity. I guess it doesn't matter; all I know is that it's a title that I never knew I had, but it's one that I'll proudly carry for the rest of my life.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll have to see if I can come up with a business card that says “Jim Koski: Two Minute Storyteller” on it.

8-)

(jim@wmqt.com)