Wednesday, 1/10

I was gonna write today about how computers are stupid. I'll do that tomorrow.. Instead, I'm gonna write about how fingers are stupid.

Especially when you cut one of them.

Don't worry; it's not like there was blood spurting everywhere when it happened. But yesterday afternoon I cut the tip of my right middle finger while opening a can of beans...proving, apparently, that fiber isn't quite as good for you as they say. And that you probably shouldn't use a dull, manual can opener when opening the beans. It's a small puncture, kind of like what you get when they test your iron levels before you give blood. But because of where it's placed—right on the tip of the finger—I wanted to put a Band-Aid on it so it would stay clean, and so whatever blood was there wouldn't leak on whatever I touched.

Ever since then, it has been a pain in my...finger.

For instance, I'm trying to type this using my patented four-finger typing method. Unfortunately, my patented four-finger typing method counts the middle finger on my right hand as one of the four fingers, which means that every time I try to use said finger the Band-Aid gets in the way and hits the key next to the one I intended to hit.

So if you happen to see words like “stup[of” and “finget” in this blog, just know that it's because I'm only at 75% capability as far as typing goes. And because computers are stupid. But that's a story for tomorrow.

The other problem I'm having is because I'm weird. Like you, I use a lot of touchscreens, especially at work, and for some reason I never really use my right index finger to touch the screen. Most people use the index finger of their dominant hand on touchscreens, but because I'm not most people I use a different finger. And you know what finger I usually use?

Oh, you know me all too well. Of COURSE I use my right middle finger, the finger that currently has a Band-Aid on it. Well, it IS the one that pokes out the farthest, you know. And did you know that touch screens won't work if you touch them with a Band Aid instead of a finger?

Well, now you do.

Assuming the cut is healed I'm taking the Band-Aid off this morning, so hopefully the problem disappears as quickly as our snow is scheduled to today. Unless, of course, I try to open another can of beans with a dull manual can opener. Then all bets are off.

Tomorrow, the story of why computers can be dumb. Even dumber than me trying to open a can of beans with a really dull manual can opener.

(jim@wmqt.com)