As our shared calendar starts to draw
to an end for yet another year (really...where did 2019 go?), here's
a story about a gift I receive every year for Christmas.
A calendar. Specifically, a calendar
that makes me laugh my head off.
As I have every Christmas for a decade
and a half now, I received my annual edition of the “365 Stupidest
Things Ever Said” calendar and as I’ve done for the past decade and a half I read each and
every page of it in one sitting. This accomplishes a couple of
things--there’s a point where the cumulative effect of all that
stupidity catches up with me, and whatever control I have dissolves
in a big puddle. I start laughing uncontrollably, with tears running
down my eyes, and for the next couple of minutes, I’m unable to do
nothing else. Loraine then just stares at me for a second, and
shakes her head the way she’d shake her head at a puppy trying to
chase its tail and accidentally running itself head-first into a
wall.
Except I do it on purpose.
The page that set me off this year?
Read by itself, it’s not necessarily that funny, but when you
consider I’d just read 200 or so other pages of stupid stuff; well,
like I said, the cumulative effect was just something else. It was an item in a police blotter, much like we have here in Marquette with the Mining Journal--
“A man reported that a squirrel was running in circles on Davis Drive and wasn't sure if it was sick or had been hit by a car. An officer responded and as he drove on the street he ran over the squirrel ”.
You know, as I'm typing that I realize I probably shouldn't laughed as hard as I did. But I have a weird sense of humor to begin with, and when I saw the page, placed near the end of a long line of stupid
quotes, sayings, and newspaper headlines, it was the trigger that set
off my annual bout of self-induced hysteria. I like squirrels--I really do--but I just couldn't help myself.
I know. . .I need help. What’s your
point??
8-)
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