Thursday, 7/19

Sometimes people make me laugh. And not necessarily in a good way.

I notice one of my “favorite” (yes, I'm being sarcastic) TV commercials of all time is back on the air. It's my “favorite” (and you CAN smell the sarcasm, right?) because the tag line for the product it pushes makes my head spin. The commercial is for something called Four Seasons Sunrooms; it’s basically a big, enclosed patio room (with lots of windows) that you build onto the side of your house. I have no beef with the product, and like I said, that’s not what made my head spin. It was this line, used twice in the commercial that, had I any food in my mouth when I first heard it, would’ve caused a spit-take that would’ve put the Three Stooges to shame.

The tagline? “It lets you enjoy the outdoors inside”.

I don’t know about you, but the . . .logic, for better word, of that tagline astounds me. First of all, if you’re indoors, you CAN’T enjoy the outdoors. It’s simple quantum physics--you can’t be in two places at once. You’re either indoors, or you’re outdoors. Unless you’re standing in an open doorway, with an arm inside and an arm outside, you can’t enjoy the outdoors from the indoors. Don’t the people who wrote that tag line understand that? And don’t they know that to enjoy something fully, it has to envelope all your senses? You have to see it, hear it, smell it, and feel it? And you can’t do that to the outdoors if you’re sitting in an enclosed room. You can see it, but you can’t hear it, smell it, or feel it.

DON’T THESE PEOPLE GET IT???

(Yes, I know I need help. What’s your point? 8-))

Now, aside from the absurdity of the tagline, I think the commercial also pointed out something that’s. . .weird with people these days. It’s something I notice whenever I’m out for a walk on a warm summer day, and I see people driving by me with their windows rolled up, air conditioning cranked to the max. People these days don’t seem to want to enjoy the outdoors. They prefer living in an artificial environment. And this sunroom is a perfect example--the commercial shows people sitting in the room, drinking coffee and gazing out at the sunshine and the green grass. Why not just go outside and feel the sunshine and smell the green grass? It’s nature; it’s something we’re genetically pre-programmed to enjoy. Go out in it. Experience it. Sitting in a sunroom and looking at the sun is like, I dunno, hiring two people, having someone film them getting married, and then showing it off as “your” wedding video.

It’s not real, no matter how much it looks like it is.

I don’t know why people seem allergic to the outdoors these days. I know I’m not; you all know how much I dislike cold & snow, yet I’m outside, even on those days when both cold & snow are at their maximum. If nothing else, it makes being outside on sunny, warm summer days that much more satisfying. But maybe I’m weird that way; maybe I’m not as evolved as some people. Maybe the next step in human evolution is toward beings who can only survive in artificial environments. Maybe I’m part of a dying breed.

I dunno. All I do know for certain is if that’s the case; I’m fine with being part of a dying breed. Unlike most people these days, I guess, I want to enjoy my outdoors FROM the outdoors. Not from the indoors. . .

(jim@wmqt.com)