Monday, 10/2

I don't think my routine's routine any more.

I've been back from Europe for three weeks now, and I'm fully back into the groove of things. But for some reason, my old “routine” doesn't seem routine any more, and I'm trying to figure out if it's a good thing or not. I'm sure it's good in that you really should shake things up every so often, just as I'm sure that it's bad that I can't get readjusted to it.

Hmmm...

Let me explain. As those of you who read this on a regular basis may know, the three months (or so) before I head to Europe are rather hectic. I'm trying to work ahead while at the same time trying as much time off during sunny days as I can. So, on a daily basis during the summer, I'm never quite sure what I'm going to be doing or when I'm going to be doing it.

Then there's the rest of the year, like now. I'm not rushing around, I'm not trying to work ahead, and I can settle in to a “routine”, doing not only what needs to get done, but also what's been put off. And you'd think that'd be a good thing, right? I know what I need to do, and I know when I'll have the time to accomplish it. You'd think that'd be a good thing, right?

Well, apparently not.

Nope; instead, now that I'm back to “normal”, nothing feels quite right. Everything feels “off”, like (and this will probably sound strange) I'm 10 or 15 seconds out of phase with reality. It feels like the world's moving at one speed, while I'm moving at another, and I don't know why. Every other time I've returned from Europe and have slid back into a “routine”, it's been a lot easier than this.

But for some reason, not this time.

As far as I can tell, I haven't done anything differently than in years past, nor has the world around me changed that much. Things are pretty much how they have been every fall; nothing's seriously changed. Yet, I still feel like there's something amiss. But maybe that's a good thing. After all, a “routine” can easily turn into a “rut”, and that's something with which I'm not comfortable. Maybe my feeling out of “phase” is just my brain's way of telling me that I need to change something up. Maybe my brain feels more comfortable in the hectic insanity of my summer schedule, as opposed whatever I'm doing now.

That wouldn't surprise me . My brain, after all, does (pardon the pun) have a mind of its own on many occasions. Maybe it's just trying to take the right fork while the rest of me is taking the left fork. Wouldn't be the first time that happened, and it would explain quite a bit.

We'll just have to see...

(jim@wmqt.com)