I wonder what a shrink would make of the (recurring) dream?
Occasionally, I write in here about bizarre dreams I’ve had. I’m sure these things open a window into my (very unusual) psyche and give you an idea of what it’s like being me. Well, I’ve had pretty much the same dream a couple of times over the past few months, and I have no idea what it means.
Aside, perhaps, from the fact that I have a very unusual psyche.
Here’s the dream in a nutshell. I have, for some reason, gone back to college, usually in a city different than Marquette. I’m not really sure why I’ve gone back to college, but I have, and in doing so I’ve taken a full load of classes. The only problem is that I, in my dream, only end up going to one or two of the classes. The other classes I just blow off, even though I know (in my dream) that I’m paying good money for them and that I’ve moved away for the chance to take them. I also know (in my dream) that I’ve had a dream like this before and that my usual standard operating procedure is to blow off a class or two. So basically I’m dreaming about a dream that I know I’ve dreamt, a dream that didn’t make sense the first time I had it and still doesn’t make sense in any subsequent versions of it.
See? Unusual psyche.
I think there are two things at play in this dream, the first being the premise that I would move away to go to college and yet attend only half of my classes. That doesn’t make sense to me; after all, it’s certainly nothing I would ever do in real life. If I ever was gonna go back to college (and especially move away to do it) I’m sure I’d wanna get it done as quickly as possible and as well as possible. I mean, if you’re gonna go back to college, go back to college. Yet there must be something in my brain that made me dream this dream the first time. I have no idea if it’s standard performance anxiety material or if there’s some kind of deeper meaning to it, but I must’ve had the dream (the first time) for some particular reason.
I just don’t know what that reason was.
The second thing in play is the fact that I’ve had the dreams multiple times, and that in those repeat airings I know I’m dreaming, I know I’ve had this dream before, and I know my actions won’t have any real world consequences because, well, it’s just a dream. And I don’t get it. I know that as you get older your dreams become more literal, they become more grounded in reality and your everyday life, but I had no idea that you also become more self-aware about whether you’re dreaming or not. I don’t know if this is something everyone experiences or if I’m starting to mutate into something just a little different than the norm, but it seems weird to dream about having dreams, and to know that you’re dreaming.
I’m sure if I had a shrink she could tell me what all this means, and I am curious, but I don’t know if I’m curious enough to pay $200 an hour to find out the answer. All I know is that if I dream about going back to college and then not going to any of my classes again, there’s a part of my brain that will tell me my dream is just a dream. And that, in the end, it really doesn’t matter if I go to that class my dream wants me to skip.
Some days (or nights, technically), it's not easy being me. It really isn't.
8-)
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