Wednesday, 12/13

Okay. Even I think they have have gone a little overboard.

As you may have heard, the most anticipated movie of the past two years (and I'm only being slightly sarcastic here), “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” opens tomorrow night. And as you may have heard, there are a few people (me included) really looking forward to it. They had the world premiere Saturday night, and everyone who saw it seemed to love it. The (spoiler-free) reviews I've read say it may be the best of the films, and that's saying something. But you know who probably really loves it?

Merchandisers.

Sunday morning, Loraine was looking through a few newspaper flyers and noticed that there seemed to be Star Wars licensed merchandise EVERYWHERE. I can't say I'm surprised; after all, the franchise was heavily merchandised even  before Disney bought the rights to it, and you know what Disney does when they get their hands on things. This, though, seems to have become almost a parody of itself. Just about anything you can buy you can now buy with a tie-in to Star Wars” included.

Don't believe me? Here's a list, taken from store flyers from this past Sunday's Mining Journal (so I think I'm missing quite a bit)--

“Star Wars” toys of all kinds

“Star Wars” puzzles

“Star Wars” books

“Star Wars” video games

“Star Wars” action figures

“Star Wars” toddler clothes

“Star Wars” kids clothes

“Star Wars” junior clothes

“Star Wars” adult clothes

“Star Wars” pajamas

“Star Wars” underwear

“Star Wars” makeup

“Star Wars” watches

“Star Wars” rings

“Star Wars” necklaces

“Star Wars” wrapping paper

“Star Wars” tree ornaments

“Star Wars” Life Savers

“Star Wars” Pez dispensers

“Star Wars” cereal

“Star Wars” sleeping bags

“Star Wars” boomboxes

“Star Wars” night lights

“Star Wars” Bluetooth speakers

“Star Wars” luggage

“Star Wars” shower curtains

and, finally,

“Star Wars” waffle makers

What? No “Star Wars” Home Pregnancy Test? Or does that come out nine months from now?

Now, I don't mind SOME merchandising; after all, the thought of a waffle in the shape of the Death Star does seem intriguing. But “Star Wars” luggage? “Star Wars” shower curtains? “Star Wars” eye shadow and concealing cream? Somewhere, in an alternate timeline, the teenage version of me who saw the original movie when it first came out is rolling his eyes.

Or kicking himself for not getting in on the action.

But what do you expect? While many of us think of it as more than just a movie franchise, Disney paid four billion (with a “B”) dollars for the right make more movies in order to be able to sell this stuff. I guess I can't begrudge them that. But still--”Star Wars” waffle makers?

Sometimes, the mind boggles.

(jim@wmqt.com), at T-35 or so hours and counting!