I'm gonna have to maim you if you ever repeat what I'm about to say, but I really like my bifocals.
I know; it makes no sense to me, either. I complained quite a bit when I was told I needed them a few years ago. After all, bifocals are something “old” people wear, and coming from a family that's quite averse to aging, the bifocals seem almost antithetical. But when I run (like in the rain this morning) or work out I wear the glasses I had before I got my bifocals, and I've noticed something recently. When I try to use them to read something off of my phone or see something clearly while I'm dashing up & down the street, I've noticed that they don't work quite as well as my bifocals.
To quote my friend Deanna...”shoot me now”.
8-)
Until the past few years the only problem with my eyes was that things were blurry far away. I could see just fine looking at things that were close up. But apparently, as mere mortals age, our eyes become less elastic and it's harder to see close up without assistance. It's hard for me to admit, but apparently I'm living proof of that. So the old glasses I occasionally use correct my vision far away just fine; after all, that part of me has remained constant over the years. But when I try to read something or glance at my phone while wearing these old glasses, I just can't look down at the bottom of them and clearly see what I'm reading, like I do with my bifocals. Nope. I temporarily have to act like an old person and hold the reading material at half an arm's length; otherwise, it's just a slightly fuzzy blur of text, pictures, and colors.
It seems as if I have become the person I used to (jokingly) mock. Karma, I hope my derriere doesn't hurt your teeth too much.
Actually, reading a book isn't that bad. Like I said, I just need to adjust my arms a little. It's looking at a computer screen that's the problem. Just out of curiosity, I threw the old pair on this morning to write this and it was, shall we say, interesting. I had to lean into the screen just to see what I was typing or what I was touching. I did my best, but I would just like to say right now that if there are any spelling errors in today's entry, it's not my fault.
It's the fault of my ding-dang eyes.
Thankfully, I do not have to deal with this problem if I don't want. Thankfully, I can put my old glasses away and throw on my bifocals. I'll just try not to think about how much of a hypocrite I've become in my old age.
You know, the kind of hypocrite who actually like his bifocals
****
Before I go, here's what they looked like at 9:40 am this morning--
And that's all I'm gonna say about that!
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