I'm gonna have to maim you if you ever
repeat what I'm about to say, but I really like my bifocals.
I know; it makes no sense to me,
either. I complained quite a bit when I was told I needed them a few
years ago. After all, bifocals are something “old” people wear,
and coming from a family that's quite averse to aging, the bifocals
seem almost antithetical. But, as you may recall, I went to the eye
doctor yesterday. Because the check-up revealed my eyes have changed
a little in the two years since I got my last pair of glasses, I need
new lenses. For a few minutes, it looked as if I may have had to
give them my current bifocals and use an old pair of glasses to see;
specifically, the last glasses I had before I needed bifocals.
And, although I'm REALLY loathe to
admit this, I didn't want to give my bifocals up. Thankfully, I didn't have to.
Until the past few years the only
problem with my eyes was that things were blurry far away. I could
see just fine looking at things that were close up. But apparently,
as mere mortals age, our eyes become less elastic and it's harder to
see close up without assistance. It's hard for me to admit, but
apparently I'm living proof of that. So the old glasses I may have
had to temporarily use correct my vision far away just fine; after
all, that part of me has remained constant over the years. But when
I try to read something wearing these old glasses, I just can't look
down at the bottom of the lenses and clearly see what I'm reading, like I
did with my bifocals. Nope. I temporarily have to act like an old
person and hold the reading material at half an arm's length;
otherwise, it's just a slightly fuzzy blur of text, pictures, and
colors.
Using those old glasses, I temporarily become
the person I used to (jokingly) mock. Karma, I hope my derriere
doesn't hurt your teeth too much.
Actually, reading a book isn't that
bad. Like I said, I just need to adjust my arms a little. It's
looking at a computer screen that's the problem. Just out of
curiosity, I threw the old pair on this morning to see how they
would've worked, and it was, shall we say, interesting. I had to
lean into every screen I used, just to see what I'm typing or what
I'm touching. My laptop's not too bad, because I can move that
wherever it works best. It's when I used a desktop computer with a
fixed monitor—like at work, when editing something, or right now,
when writing this—that I had to hunch over just to clearly see what
was popping up on the screen. I did my best, but I would just like
to say if there are any spelling errors in today's
entry, it's not my fault.
It's the fault of my ding-dang eyes.
Thankfully, I did not have to deal with
this problem Thankfully, when the new lenses come in, they can just
pop them into the current frames, and I'll be set. Until then, I'll
just try not to think about how much of a hypocrite I've become in my
old age.
You know, the kind of hypocrite who
doesn't want his bifocals taken away.
8-)
*****
Speaking of my trip to the eye doctor
yesterday, do you remember a couple of months ago when the Ironwood
“High School Bowl” team wanted me to run for President? Well,
they now have some company!
I especially like the eye-related puns
they put on the sign, like “Jim for President 20/20” and “He
Has a Great Vision”. Thanks to Donna and the gang at Dr. Kyle's
office for making my day yesterday!
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