Monday, April 8, 2024

Monday, 4/8

The ham is finally gone. Thanks for asking.

Like many people for Easter, I baked a ham. It actually wasn't a whole ham; just one of those chunks that weighed four pounds. I slathered it with a brown sugar/orange/ginger glaze, and it made for quite the nice main course for our Easter feast.

Little did we know that six days later, Loraine & I would still be eating it.

Seriously—that hunk of ham must have had some kind of self-replicating feature to it, because no matter how much of it we ate there seemed to be more that we needed to consume. I have no idea how that happened. We started with a four pound hunk of it, ate a large portion on Sunday, had leftovers on Monday, threw more of it into a salad Tuesday, used some of it for omelets Wednesday, took a break for a day, and then finally finished it off Friday night when Loraine threw in the towel and tasked me with eating the last piece.

That's five days of consumption for a four-pound hunk of pig. Short of self-replication, how exactly does that happen?

Now, don't get me wrong. I like ham, and it really doesn't seem to be Easter or any other holiday without it. I don't mind eating it at all. I don't even really mind having to eat it for five out of days in a row. I just want to know the how & why we had to eat it five out of six days in a row. It was a four pound hunk. How can it last five days? It's not like we cut off a little slice, had one bite, and called it quits for the day. Nope; we attacked the ham (pardon the pun) whole hog. We ate big chunks of it eat and every day.

And yet, it still took us five days to finish it.

I'm guessing we won't be eating any more ham any time soon; I think we're both looking forward to a ham-free meal or three. But the next time we do, I'll be curious to see if we can get through it like a normal couple does, or if we've picked up another one of those magical self-replicating hams.

Just like the one we finished Friday night.

(jim@wmqt.com)

No comments:

Post a Comment