This is a choice I never thought I'd ever have to make, but since it's 2026 and nothing makes sense any more it was a choice that did indeed present itself--
Do I eat my apple after I dropped it in the toilet?
Yup; just when you thought this year could not get any stranger, it did. I was eating lunch yesterday, when I went into the bathroom to wash my apple off and watched in horror as my newly washed apple slipped out of my wet hand and perfectly pirouetted into a toilet bowl that (ahem) someone had thoughtfully left the lid open.
Anyone have THAT on their 2026 bingo card?
I mean, geez...I've done some stupid and/or klutzy things in my life, but I've never tossed an apple (wittingly or unwittingly) into a toilet bowl before. I had never even considered dropping an apple into a toilet bowl within the realm of possibility. But yet, I did it.
Guess I can cross that off my bucket list.
Like I mentioned at the beginning, I did give a few seconds thought to just grabbing the apple out of the toilet, washing it again, and then eating it. After all, it's water in the toilet bowl, right? Dogs drink it without a second thought. Plus, the toilet does get cleaned quite often. But still...
My desire to eat the apple was really outweighed by the fact that I dropped it in a toilet.
I know; had I closed the lid on the toilet bowl after using it I wouldn't have faced that dilemma. Had I not tried to handle the apple with wet hands I wouldn't have faced that dilemma. Heck, had Sir Isaac Newton not “discovered” gravity I wouldn't have faced that dilemma. But, because none of those things occurred I didn't get to eat my apple. I did, however, get to experience something I never thought I'd experience, so I guess in a very bizarre way something good DID come out of it.
You'd better believe, however, that the next time I go into the bathroom to wash off an apple the lid on the toilet bowl WILL be closed. After all, it's not a choice I'd like to ponder again.
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