Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Wednesday, 9/4


Out of all the stories I'll be telling tonight, I'm probably the least likely person to be telling any of them.

Yet, I'll be doing it anyway.

Tonight is the “Beer History” fundraiser at the Marquette Regional History Center, and aside from the 11 different kinds of beers available to try there will also be three speakers during the evening. Those three speakers include two very important local intellectuals, who will be speaking on the socio-economic and manufacturing aspects of alcohol, and, well, me, telling stories about the stupid things people do after they've had one or two or twelve too many.

I kinda think I'm maybe, just maybe, the comic relief of the evening. Maybe.

I am probably one of the least likely people to tell these types of stories, in that I don't go to bars and I really don't drink. Yet there I'll be, sharing stories of hilarity, stupidity, and depravity (sometimes all at once) that I've picked up over the past few years. I guess when you decide to explore the offbeat and/or seedy aspects of local history, as have I, you're bound to become an expert on the topic, whether you want to be or not.

But I don't mind at all.

I'm going on last, after everyone's had a chance to sample the beers, so I'm assuming it'll be a fun crowd that's ready to laugh. And that's a good thing; after all, even though I only have 20 minutes, here are a few of the stories I'll be sharing--

The Bowling Ball story.
The Streaker story.
The “Why Is There an Axe In The Wall?” story.
The “How To Make a Fortune The Next Morning” story
The “Why Does It Smell like Jell-O In Here?” story
The “You Shouldn't Really Get Into a Bar Fight with a Wrecker Driver” story.
And the Great Andy's Urinal Experiment story

Now, I experienced none of the stories first-hand. In fact, most of them occurred before I was of legal drinking age and some even before I was born. Yet because of my field of interest people have shared them with me over the years, and I've now become somewhat of an expert on the subject even though I never did anything along those lines.

Kind of like how I'm Marquette's “greatest living authority on prostitutes” without ever, you know, actually knowing one.

It should be a fun evening, though. I believe a few tickets are still available, so if you wanna check it out, just go to the History Center's website for all the details. Otherwise, I'll let you know how it turned out tomorrow. I might even share one or two of the stories, as well.

Assuming, that is, I can clean them up enough for general consumption.

8-)


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