Monday, 4/8

I just realized that Andy Williams warped my life.

Now, before I get to the “how” of how the singer of “Moon River” and the star of a long-running 60’s TV variety show warped my life, let me get to the “why” of discovering it. One of the books I recently finished reading was a fascinating tome entitled “I Hate Myself And Want To Die”, written by a perceptive young man named Tom Reynolds. Despite its title, it’s an hilarious book about the 52 most depressing, maudlin, and just plain bad songs ever written. One of the songs he talks about is the immortal “MacArthur Park”, first sung by Richard Harris and later disco-fied into a number one hit by Donna Summer. He mentions many other people who’ve tackled one of the most bizarre songs ever written, and it was then that I realized Andy Williams warped my life.

You see, Andy Williams was one of the people who recorded “MacArthur Park”. And when I was a very young kid, I used to listen to the 8-track of the song over and over and over again (yes, my parents had an 8-track player and yes, they actually had an Andy Williams 8-track tape which, in hindsight, may explain a lot about how I turned out). I never listened to the beginning and the end of the song; that was just Andy Williams singing “Park” the same was in which he sang “Moon River” and all his other hits (like, uhm, “Moon River”). It was the middle section of the song that I listened to over and over.

Imagine this--Andy Williams is singing “MacArthur Park” the same way he sang “Moon River”. Then, the bridge (the middle) of the song starts. Andy fades out, and something really REALLY strange starts happens. What sounds like an 80-piece orchestra kicks in, along with a wa-wa disco guitar and disco-like drums, meaning the song goes from “Moon River” to something that sounds like the bad soundtrack to the worst “Shaft” movie ever made. Then, after two minutes of the Andy Williams Disco Orchestra, it goes back to “Moon River”.

Don't believe me? Listen starting at 2:20 into the song--

I hadn’t thought about that piece of music for, gosh, 30 or so years, until I came across it in that book and everything just came flooding back to me. I went to iTunes and, proving it may be the single greatest cultural aid (or single biggest time-waster) in modern history, they had “MacArthur Park” by Andy Williams (they also had “Moon River”, but I skipped that one). I downloaded it, listened to the middle of it, listened to the middle again (much like I did when I was a kid), and realized something.

You see, I’ve always liked songs with horns and strings in them; witness the fact that I think Earth, Wind, and Fire’s “September” is the greatest song ever recorded. I never knew WHY I like songs with horns & strings in them; I just always have. And that’s when I realized how Andy Williams warped my life. You see, the first song I can ever remember really paying attention to that had horns & strings in it (albeit overblown horns & strings) was his version of “MacArthur Park”.

Apparently, Andy Williams is responsible for the type of music I listen to and like even today.

I think I’m gonna go sit in a corner for awhile, think about it, and decide whether to laugh or to cry. . .

(jim@wmqt.com)

(ps--don't forget that I may or may not have jury duty tomorrow.  If you don't see anything new here you know the drill!)