I don't wear a hat because my head is
too small.
There. You happy?
8-)
The past few days, with their bitterly
cold temperatures, have led to several people ask me why I wasn't
wearing a hat while walking to work or walking someplace else. One
of them even went so far as to mention that they don't ever recall
seeing me in a hat, which could very well be true, at least when I'm
not running. I don't wear hats, and I don't wear them for one
reason—because I have a very small head.
No, seriously, I do have a small head.
In proportion to the rest of my body, my head is smaller than an
average person. When discussing it with my dad over the weekend (he
being one of those people asking why I wasn't wearing a hat) he noted
that I get the small head from him. And it's true. I do get my
small head from him. Yet that doesn't stop my dad from wearing a hat
wherever he goes.
Probably because he's a normal person.
Maybe it's just me. Okay, it's
definitely just me. But I think I look weird in a hat, especially a
winter hat. It crushes the only thing that seems to make my head look a
normal size—what's left of my hair—thereby making my head look like
a tan grapefruit sitting on top of a scarecrow's body. And I think I
look strange enough as it is. So because I think it makes me look
weird, I would much rather freeze my ears off than wear a hat.
Obviously, my dad's much more mature
than I, right?
Like I said, I do wear hats when I'm
running or skiing, because I really don't care what I look like, and
during winter, if I'm gonna be outside for an hour sweating in
bitterly cold temperatures, I do actually wanna stay warm. To quote
a fake country song title I once came up with, “I May Look Stupid,
But I'm Not That Dumb”. But if it's just a five minute walk to
work, or a quick dash from one building to another; well, maybe I am
that dumb. All because then I DO care what I look like wearing a
hat.
I know. A shrink would have a field
day, wouldn't they?
Anyway, that's the really bizarre
reason why I don't wear a hat. So if you ever see me out in the
cold, with ears red and steam rising from my neck, realize that I do
know better.
It's just that my small head can't
process it.
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