Wednesday, 12/26

The cookies aren't gone yet. But I'm getting there.

After baking 31 dozen (and yes, I have a problem) cookies over the weekend and then giving what I could away, I'm still left with several dozen of assorted types lying around our apartment. I'm still willing to give them to a good home if anyone wants them.

8-)

I don’t bake the cookies for me to eat; in fact, Loraine often expresses amazement and/or disappointment over the fact that I make the cookies but don’t eat them. But while I do munch on one or two (mostly to make sure they turn out okay), I make them mostly to give away. After all, the holidays are all about giving, right? Especially if you’re giving away 11 extra pounds of caloric-driven weight through all the cookies you bake?

Right??

One of the reasons I don’t eat all the cookies, and one of the reasons that I’m glad they’re mostly gone, is that I’m not sure if I wanna gain the extra two pounds the average American gains during the average holiday season. Now, I’m sure some of you are asking how I can be worried about gaining two pounds when I don’t eating my own baking, and I can safely answer this way—while I don’t eat my own baking, I sure do eat a lot of other people’s baking.

Once again, those of you who read this on a daily basis know what I’m talking about—ever since Thanksgiving, it seems like I’ve been writing about nothing other than trying to go to bazaars and holiday festivals and open houses and bake sales and cookie swaps. And while I don’t eat a lot at any one of those events, the sheer number of them that Loraine & I attend makes it inevitable that, like almost every American, I’ll gain those two pounds during the holidays.

Now, one of the reasons Americans have gotten so large over the past two decades is that, studies show, they never lose the two pounds they gain each holiday season. And while a pound or two might not make much difference in a year, you add them up over a decade, and you’re eventually 15 or 20 pounds heavier than you once were.

That’s why I don’t eat the cookies I bake. I make up for it in eating the stuff that OTHER people make and give to me. And that’s why I hit the ski trails and the running routes and the weights with added vigor during and after the holidays. I want to get rid of those two pounds I may have picked up.

Of course, now I need to apologize for giving all those cookies away and causing other people to gain their two pounds. I’ll admit it’s an imperfect system; all I have to do now is figure out how to make calorie-free Christmas cookies, and then EVERYONE can be happy!

(jim@wmqt.com)