What? You don't use the phrase “face pants” in your everyday life?
As we all know, my life is weird, and it keeps getting weirder by the day. I mean, I could mention things like walking into a store Sunday, saying something, and having the young man waiting on me say “You're the dude from the history videos!”. I could also mention the e-mail I received yesterday from someone who saw me on TV Monday and really REALLY wants to make “Six Pack Speed Skating” a thing.
Or, I could just show you my face pants--
Yup; you're looking at exactly what you think you're looking at. A couple of weeks ago the Painesdale High School Bowl team decided to show up for a shoot wearing pajama bottoms with my face on them.
Have I ever mentioned my life is weird?
When I saw the “face pants” I almost lost it, laughing so hard that we had to delay taping a few minutes while I composed myself. I mean, strange things have been happening to me on a regular basis, but I really don't think I had “face pants” on my Weird Life Bingo Card.
I don't think ANYONE would have “face pants” on their Weird Life Bingo Card.
In the two weeks since, my friend Deanna has been using the phrase “face pants” as often as possible in conversation, attributing everything going on in the world—good & bad—to my “face pants”. Even I've found myself using the phrase once or twice, only to then have to explain the whole thing to the person who just heard it. Of course, once they hear WHY I'm using the phrase “face pants” they get it, and, if only for a second, realize that my life is weird.
Because, if you weren't aware, my life is weird.
So the next time something strange happens to you—and I'm assuming that I'm not the only person to whom weird things happen—don't give it a second thought. Just realize that there are forces greater than you & I at work in the universe. Whatever happens, we can just blame it on one thing and one thing only.
Face pants.
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