Thursday, January 30, 2020

Thursday, 1/30


Okay. Even I don't think I could say that. In fact, I KNOW I couldn't say that.

Researchers at MIT apparently ran out of important things to study, because they've just made a discovery that will probably not win anyone there a Nobel prize. However, because it doesn't deal with string theory or quantum mathematics or the theory of the multi-verse, it's a discovery that many of us can appreciate.

That discovery? The world's hardest tongue twister.

No, seriously. They used all their math skills and all the algorithms they could come up with to decide what the hardest tongue twister would be for the average human to say. I think we've all had to deal with trying to say tongue twisters before. Heck, I know I've embarrassed myself on the air many times while trying them, my personal favorite being the simple “Colts Coach Caldwell” that I could never ever get right. However, no tongue twister I've ever tried tied my tongue in such knots as the one that the MIT researchers came up with.

Don't believe me? Try saying “Pad kid poured curd pulled cod” even once. I dare you.

(Go ahead and try. I'll be right here when you're done)

Give yourself as headache yet? Sprain your tongue? Let out a few choice words when you got done trying it? Well, don't worry. I'm guessing you're in good company, as I myself couldn't even get through it the first time without sounding like I was gargling with marbles. I have no idea how anyone could say it multiple times, and at any rate of speed. I mean, by breaking it down syllable by syllable I could get through it, but as soon as I tried to say it like a normal person (or at least as normal as I could get) I blew the proverbial gasket. It just doesn't work.

No way, no how.

So hats off to the researchers at MIT. Aside from discovering the secrets of the universe both big and small, they've also been able to figure out the worst tongue twister in human history. Now I'm hoping they'll take a hint from a classic episode of “Monty Python” and figure out a joke so funny it makes people die. Maybe they'd pick up the Nobel for THAT, you know?

8-)


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